I am writing this story in hopes of finding that special someone who might want what I have to offer. I have added the photos to this story because I find them hot, part of my fantasies and possibility something I might enjoy trying or doing.

I remember my teenage years and I guess I was like any other boy growing up in the seventies. I would masturbate to Playboy pictures and dream of the day I would be able to have sex with a woman instead of only dreaming about it.

When I met my first wife in 1975, she was beautiful, bisexual and a sexual free spirit. She introduced me to the concepts of an open relationship, trading partners and bringing other people into our bedroom. Who needed Playboy when I had her? At the time we were living in northern Colorado. There wasn't a whole lot of information out back then on fetishes, but that was ok since she had quite the imagination. We explored bondage, teasing and a few times she dressed me up in lingerie and she took on the male persona and had me take on the female persona. At the time, dress up didn't do a thing for me, but it made her happy and I got laid, so it was a win-win situation.

The downside to this relationship is she wasn't always honest and many times she was just deceitful on whom she was with and what she was doing. Being young and immature, my jealousy ruined our relationship. I don't think I would have been jealous if she would have only been honest with me.

After our separation, I found myself in Maryland. The emotional pain from the first marriage left me callous and ambivalent towards women. Back in those days (before AIDS) casual sex was the norm and I found that I had plenty of playmates myself who wasn't looking for anything serious.

It was then that I started having a submissive awaking. I started fantasying about women taking the more aggressive sexual leadership in the bedroom. My problem was trying to figure out how to approach my playmates about these desires. The few times I felt comfortable enough to share my desires with a playmate, they disappeared.

In the early 1980's I was in the Bay Area where I met my second wife and my jealousies followed me into the relationship. After about six months, my wife informed me that she would never cheat and if she did, she would tell me in advance, not afterwards. We made an agreement that if either one of us wanted to have sex outside of the relationship, we would meet the other person first. I was the first one to enact of the agreement. When I returned home after the encounter, my wife wanted to hear all the delicious details. After I told her, we then had sex. I no longer had any jealousy left. I figured since that day that I would trust a woman until the trust was violate and then move on. For me it isn't about sex, it is about betrayal and how can one betray you if you know everything!

Being opened with her open a few doors for us. Every now and then we would invite another guy to join us in the bedroom and she had a few encounters without me. I always knew of the encounters and when she returned home, would tell me all about the encounter and then we would have sex.

One night with my second wife, I begged and pleaded for her to have sex with me. Finally she gave in and got on top of me and rode me for three orgasms. Afterwards, she rolled off of me, kissed me and said goodnight. "What about me?" I asked. "What about you? Can't you just go to sleep? If you can't go to sleep, go sleep on the couch and leave me alone." I masturbated four times that night. I have never been used before and it was so hot!

The next day I told her what I had done and asked her if we could take it to the next level. She asked me what I was talking about and I told her of my submissive nature. We tried it for a week but her heart wasn't in it.

At the end of our relationship, she told me that she was going to spend the night with one of her ex-boyfriends. When she came home the next morning, she informed me that she had made a mistake with me and she was going to be moving back in with her ex-boyfriend and try again with him.

In the early 1980's, San Francisco was the place to try anything. You name a fetish or perversion, you could find it there. So I ventured out to explore my submissive side. All you had to do was call the San Francisco hot line to discover that there was seven clubs within the Bay Area S&M community. Little did I know that for most people, submissives are mere whipping boys for sadistic women. I tried to explain that I was a servant, not a pain slut and I had great trouble trying to find someone.

There were two types of women I found to help me explore my submissive side. Women I had to pay and women who wanted me to be a part of their stable. (have multitudes of slave) However, I did write out a few fantasies and paid women to help me fulfill the desires. It wasn't the same, but something was better than nothing. By August of 1986, I came to realize that the Bay Area was just too expensive for me to live. Why work so hard for so little? So I moved to Houston.

By the mid 1990's, my submissive side was really pulling at me and I sought out the Houston BDSM community. It wasn't the same S&M, but it was still the same "rackem & smackem" mentality. It didn't take me long to figure out that a dominant male was going to get a whole lot more pussy than a submissive male, so I put on the dominant hat.

The BDSM community in Houston was totally different from the San Francisco community I was involved in. Something was missing. I met woman and her slave at a play party and they were intense. Not intense as in play, but in mind set. I wanted to know more. She told me that they practiced "old guard" S&M and if I wanted to know more, she would tutelage me, but it had to be in the gay community as most S&M gays were "old guard." I agree and spent a year learning from her. We never play, we dissected the lifestyle. Afterward I went and started my own club for the straights (breeders).

In the spring of 1999, I converted my one bedroom into a small dungeon and the doors were opened. Within four months the club moved to a two-bedroom. Within three months we moved to a three bedroom house with a closed in garage. In January of 2000, we moved to a 5,000 sq foot warehouse which was loving called "the warehouse." Our group had only two rules that were strictly inforced.

1) If it was negotiated and consented, it would be allowed and

2) No switching for the night.

We did not provide the "do me" mentality, rather all Dominants had their respect and all slaves had their respect. Rule two did not imply that you had to remain a Dom or sub and you could switch roles on another night. But for just one night be a Master or a slave.

We also had a BDSM store within the warehouse where we sold toys and custom made leather clothing. We also made BDSM furniture. As word spread throughout Houston about the warehouse other groups started renting the warehouse. We hosted a lesbian wedding, had battle of the bands, the gay bears rented it for a Holloween party and the list goes on. Massage parlors hired me to teach their girls the art of "rackem and smackem", Prodoms wannabe's hired me to teach them "rackem and smackem" and the Prodoms wannabe's also bought their equipment for their dungeons through me. Sometime established Prodoms would rent space in the warehouse if they felt uncomfortable with a client. I would have to say, the warehouse has been the highlight of my life.

On a side note. If I would have came into the BDSM community as a submissive male, and remained a submissive male, do you think any of the above would have ever happened? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Let me elaborate. The BDSM community will attract a very ridged and narrow-minded group of people. The majority of the BDSM community is Dominant Men/submissive women. Many Dominant women/submissive men struggle in the BDSM community and will often retreat to their own corner of the community.

The Dominant Male. The dominant male generally will never read a book nor attend a psychological class to intensify their relationship. They will attend a psychological class with their submissive, but not to learn, only to ensure the safety of their submissive. Dominant men look at submissive men as weak and spineless. Anything a submissive male had to contribute would fall on deaf ears. Besides, dominant men are born knowing everything and outside of play techniques, what more is there to learn?

The Dominant Female. There are too many dominant females in the community who believes ALL men are inferior and the only thing they could possibly contribute of value is service. The dominant female will read everything she can get her hands on to improve her relationship only to be redirected by other female dominants in the community. Since men are sexually driven and fantasy motivated creatures, many women will listen to other female dominants (especially if they have time in the community) before they will listen to a male.

The submissives. The only place a submissive voice can truly be heard is in the submissive community. The downside is most submissives in the community are women and the male/female issues are different.

I truly believe wholeheartedly if I would have stayed a submissive and opened a BDSM club, our active membership would have never been larger than ten.

Another interesting twist of events was couples were coming to me for advice. I discovered that most couples really didn't need my advice, what they needed was a sounding board (and sometimes a referee) because they knew the answer, they just need to hear themselves say it. The couples who came to me for advice were newbies wanting to know how to get started or couples wanting to know how to take the relationship to the next level.

Realizing there might be a real need for this, in the beginning of 2001, I created a two-day workshop entitled "How to have a loving power exchange." I started out traveling throughout Texas and by that summer, I was traveling throughout the delta. My workshops didn't really tell people anything they didn't already know, what I did was put things into perspective by looking at ideas from a different point of view.

The sad thing is, with everything going on, the submissive strings were still pulling at me. Every now and then, I would sneak out of the community and pay someone for submissive role playing.

Being a dominant male provided me with an unlimited amount of women for play and sex. Then one night in 2001, I was surfing the net and reading the BDSM personals. I stumbled upon one ad with the title "are you worthy?" She lived on Vashon Island and I politely wrote to her to give her kudos on finally reading an ad that spoke from the heart. We started emailing each other, then IM'ing each other, then the phone calls stared. After about four months, I invited her out to Houston for the possibility of relocation and being my live in slave.

The visit went well and she moved out on Memorial Day. It didn't take long for things not to go well between us and she finally moved out. A month went by and I was really missing her. She agreed to see me. When we met, I explained to her that I missed her and would like to try again. She said that she was seeing other people and exploring her submissive side that had been a dormant fantasy of hers for a long time. I told her that I could live with that.

We saw each other a lot over the next several months unless she had a scene with someone else. After her scenes, she would tell me all about them and we would have passionate sex ourselves. Finally, we agreed for me to move in with her and try it again. Once again we struggled. Then one night, in a headed argument, she said if I thought being a submissive was so easy I was free to try it. I told her that if she thought being a dominant was so easy, she should try it. We agreed to switch roles for one week and you know what? It was the perfect fit for us.

Both of us had all the tools we needed for a successful Femdom relationship, but like all couples just getting started, we had to distinguish between fantasy and reality and what worked best for us.

Our D/s relationship was founded on us being friends, the ability to talk about anything, shared interests and the fact that she was a natural dominant and I was a natural submissive. In the beginning, there was a lot of fantasy exploration, trying different rituals and protocols and taking our relationship to the next level.

We explored areas as me keeping my body shaved, addressing her as Madam, walking one step behind her, me having a weekly house-cleaning schedule. When Madam came home, I was nude and on all fours until she gave me permission to rise and greet her. Madam's dinner plate was fixed first and then I fixed my plate and then joined her.

We knew the five ingredients of a successful Femdom relationship for the submissive is 1) serve, 2) obey, 3) accommodate, 4) relinquish decision making and 5) putting her needs above mine. This might sound easy but these are things that both people must relearn. Madam had to learn to let me serve her. Most women have been the household organizers and it is hard to let someone take these responsibilities. Madam had to learn to say "I want" and I had to learn to say "may I?" The downside to this relationship was I could only be as submissive as she was dominant.

Then one day she lost her job and she told me that she was moving back to the northwest as she really hated Houston and missed Seattle. About four months later she was established and I followed. During the four months we discussed in great detail on how to make our D/s relationship even better.

So I packed my bags and moved to Wilsonville Or. I remember one time Madam came home and found the curtains closed during a hot day. Madam quickly informed me that I was property and if I wanted to change something in her house, I would need her permission. I was paddled for that infraction and never felt so submissive in our entire relationship. Believe it or not, we fed off of each other!

Shortly after I move there, I had a job opportunity in Seattle and Madam encouraged me to take it. However, Madam did not want to follow. Being so close to each other, we did see each other about twice a month. Eventually, Madam lost her job and moved in with me in Seattle. Madam got a job on the east side of town and with separate living spaces, we saw each other about four time a month.

I had a key to Madam's place and sometimes I would go over to her place and clean while other times I would go over there, clean, prepare dinner and wait for her arrival. Things were good and bad for both of us. When we were together, things were intense, as we knew we had a limited about of time together.

It is hard for two people to bring D/s into a relationship plus combine the spiritual, emotional, physical and mental aspect that a man and woman needs in order to be truly happy. However, it can be done!

Then came the day I had to move back to Houston for a job opportunity. After I was there for about three months, Madam called me to see how I was doing. Madam informed me that she found a better job and invited me back to Seattle to be her 24/7 live in slave. We started talking and we agreed that we should try it again. We spent many hours discussing what we did wrong and what we could do right. That summer I flew to Seattle for nine days to see if all we discussed was reality or fantasy. The visit went better than either of us had expected. I went back to Houston to get my house in order and to save up some money. I moved back to Seattle in Nov of 06.

When I headed back to Seattle, I only brought what my truck could haul, which meant I had to leave my bed behind. It only took me three and half days to get to her. That is how badly I want to be in service again. Madam had a two bedroom place and the second bedroom was set up as her sun room. Since I didn't have a bed, I slept in the second bedroom on the floor. I always went to bed after Madam and woke before Madam. Hell, I would have slept in a closet if she wanted me to. That is how badly I wanted to serve her.

Here are some of the rituals we had in place when I moved back.
Outside the house, we would act as normal people. Inside the house, I was to be her slave. If anyone came over to the house, they would know I was her slave. Otherwise, they wouldn't be invited to the house.

I had a bedtime and wake up time. In the morning I would get up before Madam and make the coffee. While Madam was taking her shower, I would place a cup of hot coffee on her nightstand and warm up a towel in the dryer.

I was to be in mental chastity at all times and only allowed release with Madam instruction and or permission.

I could never enter Madam's bedroom while she was inside without her permission.

I did all the cooking, dishes, grocery shopping, cleaned Madam's car once a month and any errands Madam needed while she was at work. Madam preferred to do the laundry because there was a certain way she wanted it and for some reason, that was the one thing I just couldn't get.

If I entered a room Madam was in, I was to wait for acknowledgement and then she would instruct me on where I was to sit if I was allowed to sit at all. Madam and I had developed hand signals which was a given.

Every Wednesday night was Madam massage night.

When I handed Madam something, it was with both hands.

When we went to a restaurant, I was to open all the doors for Madam. I was to stand next to the table until permission was granted to sit down and I was forbidden to speak to anyone but Madam.

When Madam gave me a directive, I was to reply "as you wish Madam."

Madam was to be informed of my whereabouts at all times.

When Madam entered the house after a workday, I was to be bathed, shaved, on all fours with my head bowed until I was recognized. We had talked of laser hair remove for me, but that never happened.

These are just a few things we incorporated in our relationship. We both knew that if we didn't keep our D/s ritual in place, eventually real life would creep in and over take our relationship only to leave us with a vanilla relationship.

One of the things that separated Madam from other Femdoms is she was multi-orgasmic, love sex and loving have sex with me. We probably played on an average of ten times a month. We talked of our relationship being closed for me and open for her but we never did bring any other men into the bedroom. I guess we were both lazy in that arena.

One thing that Madam brought to the new relationship was the introduction of humiliation. She told me that by her humiliating me proved to her how committed I was to her. Most of the humiliation was at home and in private. Here are a few things Madam did to humiliate me. Now mind you, these were not all the time, only when the mood struck her.

She told me that my house name was to be pussy as her objective was to make me as pussywhipped as possible. Many times I was always nude when people came over.

I was forbidden to stand while going to the bathroom.

Madam had me fix her a double portion of dinner. Madam ate what she wanted and then put the remains on the floor for me to eat without using my hands.

One time Madam was having phone sex and I was instructed to go down on her. The caller knew what I was doing and afterwards I was dismissed.

One time Madam had a female guest over and I wasn't allowed to speak, only follow orders.

Sometimes Madam would have me sleep on the floor while she masturbated loudly.

One time we were at a friend's house in the backyard. Madam had me get on all fours and then sat on me while explaining. "who needs a chair when you have a slave."

We also brought in the word "dismissed." It was formal. If we were talking on the phone and the conversation was over, Madam would say "dismissed" and this way she always had the last word. If she wanted some alone time or to send me to my room, she would say "dismissed." Every now and then, Madam would have a mind blowing orgasm and whisper "dismissed". Yes, it was a powerful word.

These are just a few of the examples.

Another thing Madam brought to our new relationship was punishment. About once a week I was punished for something. Mostly for something not clean enough or something out of place or something in her closet not done right. The punishment was never sever, just too keep me on my toes and for me to try harder.

Believe it or not, in Jan of 2007, just three short months after my arrival, Madam informed me that she would be moving to Michigan without me. She told me that she met an 80 year old man who had a house, Harley and viagra and she would never have to work again unless she wanted to. I was already looking for a part-time job part-time and now I was forced to look for a full-time job full-time. I found a great job that I love and I am not willing to relocate. However, if the reader finds my service is one that will fit her needs, I am willing to help her to move here. For the record, I am not looking for anyone to take Madam's place and duplicate what we had. I know enough to know that each relationship is different and both people have different wants and needs. The purpose of this page is to let the reader know my desire to serve. Hopefully get our relationship to the point to where all you have to do is go to work and the rest of your time will be free time as I will take care of everything else. Is this something you might enjoy?

The three short months we were together was a very happy time for me. I was finally able to serve in a way that I became the wife. Not only did I do all the housework, but for the holidays was most exciting for me. During Thanksgiving we were both in the kitchen preparing the holiday dinner while I cleaned up after her. When Christmas rolled around, I was the one who decorated, made trips to the store, window-shopped and made our house festive. She was ambivalent about the whole thing until it was complete. Yes, this was the best Christmas I had since 1982. Usually I spend a quite Christmas at Denny's restaurant.

I hope the reader doesn't think that I still have feelings for Madam, this is not true. What I do have feeling for is for serving, pleasing and to be molded into the submissive male that would make her happy.

I am not sure what I am looking for but I do know that I am not interested in being part of a stable. I need the undivided attention too much to really be sharing. I hope when someone reads my story that they don't think my pass is my compass to my future. On the contrary, I am at an intersection waiting for someone to tell me which way to turn. If a lady finds that she might benefit from my service, all I ask is to be patience with me as I do have trust issues. I know that I am searching for a strong independent woman who knows what she wants with a firm hand. Even if you only have fantasized about a controlling a man, I would love to hear from you!

I hope you would feel that this is what you believe and want: The serving, I would love. To train you in all the areas of things I enjoy and like, I would love. The being able to show everyone how pussywhipped in public you are, I'll love. Being able to have the freedom to say and do anything me heart desires, including but not limited to even having other men, I'll love. Being able to have you live with me, in MY house, while I manage the money, and make the rules, will be so empowering, and I'll love it. Being proud of you as my partner and slave, I would love.

I have started another group in the Seattle area and hopefully something productive will happen.

I am open to D/s exploration, fantasy fulfillment for ladies, female roommates and couples. Any and all scenarios are welcomed. I can also entertain in Renton.

If interested, please e-mail

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